Author Archives: AngelaLTodd

About AngelaLTodd

I am queen of the helicopter parents. But there are enough of us that we are becoming a social problem. Here’s my story. Thing 1 was coming, they couldn’t stop him, it was only 24 weeks and 3 days. Someone asked: should we try to save him? Well, yes. Yes! Ten days later, a team of doctors closed the door behind us to explain brain bleeds, sepsis, meningitis. Shall we pull the plug? Well, no. No! Babydaddy laid hands on him every day, massaged him when he was ready. For the three months he was in intensive care, and the three weeks at an intermediate hospital, I would get up in the night and pump breast milk, thinking about my baby across town. Babydaddy delivered it every morning, earning the name “milkman.” It was funny. We had every therapy going for as long as possible: early intervention, the intermediate unit, private therapies. Terms multiplied: sensory processing dysfunction, sensory integration problems, orally defensive, auditory sensitivities, comprehensive developmental delay, cognitive function impairment, retinopathy of prematurity. He did occupational therapy, physical therapy, speech therapy, play therapy; we consulted with a neurologist, school psychologist, wraparound service provider, developmental specialist. He worked with an occupational therapist for a year and a half to tolerate teeth and hair brushing. Not surprisingly, parenting didn’t feel natural. I learned to read to my baby watching Phyllis, our physical therapist. Voices, commentary, labeling colors, counting… she was very good! Merging professional research skills with my genetic propensity for silliness (mom was class clown, dad’s distantly related to Lucille Ball), my mothering style came together. Eventually. But I still channel Phyllis on occasion. Thing 2 was full term. They are complete opposites; she is a sensory seeker with a wild sense of adventure and an inventive sense of fashion. Keeping them both busy and happy is an exasperating and sweet challenge. I still believe that every day can be fun and educational while reinforcing kids' boundaries. I’m on a mission to save us helicopter parents from ourselves. No more bubble wrapped kids and guilty parents. Let’s teach them coping skills. Let’s get fun.

Changing Focus

I’m still here!  Ha. I’ve been pushing my second Etsy shop and accompanying parenting group focused on raising resilient kids, all under the name Funnermother.  To sign up for my free weekly E-zine about building resilient kids to make parenting more fun, … Continue reading

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Susan gets a grip

Susan was stunned to have met her mother. After all these years! And it turned out she knew her mother and found her abrasive. Susan put her mind to a clean-out and tried to understand. She scrubbed furiously. Vesta was her mother. … Continue reading

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Velma organizes it all

        Velma had had enough drama.     Time to get back to the library.             Where all questions had answers.   All things had a place.       She would … Continue reading

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Vesta meets her daughter

      Vesta stared out the window.                   Susan made tea in the little kitchen. It was so uncomfortable.   The baby woke up. “My God, I have a grandchild!” Vesta … Continue reading

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Scarlett

  Fall crept through the country. Traveling with winter dread.           Scarlett needed a trip to the city.         She packed a favorite dress and told Auntie to expect her at the townhouse. … Continue reading

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Susan prepares

      The table was set. She’d said she had some news.   Susan looked for Velma.     The baby crawled in the grass nearby.             After this picnic everything would be changed. … Continue reading

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Velma blushes

Sweet friend had decorated. “I don’t know when your birthday is!” She handed Velma a gift. Velma opened it hotfaced. “You taught me that a woman’s home is her castle.” Tears. Smiles. Hugs.

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