How could a busiest city in the world be so hideously lonely? Skipping the park path at dusk with Velma had been giddy festive
fun; a single day later it was a trudge.
Scarlett knew that losing Sherman changed her relationship with the city. Velma’s visit revealed just how much.
Velma again invited – nearly coerced – Scarlett to retire to the country with the other spinsters at the rooming house. Spinsters! Velma was coming to grips with the term invoked by her country neighbors; Scarlett remained horrified. Still, the city swirl had slowed over the decade.
Silly perhaps, but Scarlett loved clothes. She imagined herself an old-world style icon to younger girls at the publishing house. She thought of her favorite blue brocade dress. Would there be occasion to wear her lovely clothes in the country? She was closer to ready, but would visit Velma again first. Or maybe she would renew social ties with a party in the city instead.
I am queen of the helicopter parents. But there are enough of us that we are becoming a social problem. Here’s my story.
Thing 1 was coming, they couldn’t stop him, it was only 24 weeks and 3 days. Someone asked: should we try to save him? Well, yes. Yes! Ten days later, a team of doctors closed the door behind us to explain brain bleeds, sepsis, meningitis. Shall we pull the plug? Well, no. No!
Babydaddy laid hands on him every day, massaged him when he was ready. For the three months he was in intensive care, and the three weeks at an intermediate hospital, I would get up in the night and pump breast milk, thinking about my baby across town. Babydaddy delivered it every morning, earning the name “milkman.” It was funny.
We had every therapy going for as long as possible: early intervention, the intermediate unit, private therapies. Terms multiplied: sensory processing dysfunction, sensory integration problems, orally defensive, auditory sensitivities, comprehensive developmental delay, cognitive function impairment, retinopathy of prematurity. He did occupational therapy, physical therapy, speech therapy, play therapy; we consulted with a neurologist, school psychologist, wraparound service provider, developmental specialist. He worked with an occupational therapist for a year and a half to tolerate teeth and hair brushing.
Not surprisingly, parenting didn’t feel natural. I learned to read to my baby watching Phyllis, our physical therapist. Voices, commentary, labeling colors, counting… she was very good! Merging professional research skills with my genetic propensity for silliness (mom was class clown, dad’s distantly related to Lucille Ball), my mothering style came together. Eventually. But I still channel Phyllis on occasion.
Thing 2 was full term. They are complete opposites; she is a sensory seeker with a wild sense of adventure and an inventive sense of fashion. Keeping them both busy and happy is an exasperating and sweet challenge. I still believe that every day can be fun and educational while reinforcing kids' boundaries. I’m on a mission to save us helicopter parents from ourselves. No more bubble wrapped kids and guilty parents. Let’s teach them coping skills. Let’s get fun.
I love the simplicity of the dress you have modeled.
Isn’t it gorgeous? That shop is full of gorgeous classic clothes. Thanks for your support, love the orples!